Seeing Red (The Dark Love Series) Read online

  I just don't care.

  My eyes start to flutter shut. This must be it. This is how Abel felt before he died. Suffocation. Fear. Agony.

  I feel two hands grab me and pull me up to the surface. I start gasping and coughing up water, trying to fill my lungs with oxygen.

  The hands roll me over on my side as more water rips violently through my lungs. "Nina," I hear a familiar voice say. "Breathe, baby. That's right, just breathe." I feel Andrew's hand making slow circles on my back. I try to focus on him, but my vision is still blurry.

  I try to say his name, but I can't. All I can do is gasp for the air my lungs are burning for.

  Getting the air I need, my vision starts to clear. Focusing on Andrew, I can see the pain and intensity in his eyes. "What the hell were you doing, Nina?" His eyes pierce mine. I still can't speak. I just stare at him.

  Andrew's face softens. "Baby," he says softly, "I didn't think I made it in time.." His voice breaks and I see a slight tremble of his chin. "Why would you do that? What were you thinking?" His voice, almost a whisper, is barely audible over the waves crashing into each other, and the unrelenting rain hitting the surface of the water.

  Tears fall from my eyes, and I start crying harder than I ever have before. "It's all my fault..." My words trail off in unintelligible sobs. Andrew draws me into his strong arms and he makes gentle, soothing sounds as I cry my heart out on his shoulder. My heart feels like it's ripping apart in a million different directions. Andrew doesn't say a word, and I don't want him to. I start sinking deeper in misery, almost as if I was still in the dark, suffocating waters. But this isn't water holding me under, it's grief and guilt.

  "Nina," Andrew begins, "tell me what's going on." I can't look him in the eyes. Tears are still pouring down my face, mixing in with the rain.

  I swallow and try to find my voice. "It's all my fault." My voice is scratchy. "Abel's dead because of me! It's all my fault." Saying it out loud brings another piercing pain through my heart.

  Andrew leans his face close to my ear so I can hear his words. "My beautiful forever. This is not your fault." Of course, Andrew wants to save me from the pain of this, just as he saved me from the water. He always comes to my rescue, but this time, I don't want to be saved.

  “He's dead because of me!” I yell.

  The rain continues to pour down on us both. Andrew takes his jacket off and drapes in around my shoulders. I look up at him, and he wipes the rain off my face. It's pointless because the rain falls and covers my face again.

  “I love you, Nina. I love you more than you could ever know. I love you more than anyone could ever love another person. That will never go away,” Andrew's eyes blaze with emotion, affirming everything he's telling me. I feel the fist of grief around my heart loosen a little. He grabs my face and slams his lips into mine. The rain continues to fall, and runs down both of our faces as they're connected as one.

  I always wanted to be kissed in the rain. I've always seen the dramatic moment in movies where two lovers kiss in the rain, and I always wanted to be that girl. I envied her. I always told myself, the guy I kiss in the pouring rain will be the guy I'm destined to be with for the rest of my life.

  I smile as the thought crosses my mind and I continue to press my lips against Andrew's, as the cold rain surrounds us.

  * * * *

  Andrew brings me up hot tea as I lay in my bed listening to the sound of the rain. That sound will never get old to me. It will always give me the same peaceful sensation.

  “Thank you,” I say, as I take the tea from Andrew's hand.

  “You're welcome, love.”

  I sip the hot tea, and it instantly warms my whole body. I take another sip and rest the cup on my lap. My nails tap on the glass. If it wasn't for that sound, Andrew and I would be sitting here in awkward silence.

  “Why did you do it, Nina?” Andrew asks, his eyes never leave the floor.

  I can't look at him anymore. I feel like a complete idiot that he had to be the one that saved me. It's always him.

  “I wanted to feel something different than the pain I felt,” I take a deep breath. “I wanted to feel what Abel felt when he was gasping for air as he left this world. When he turned to ash.” Tears start falling from my eyes, and stream down my face.

  “It wasn't your fault, Nina.”

  “Yes, it was!” I tell him in a determined voice. “Flavior was after me. He wanted me dead, and Abel shielded me. He threw himself in front of me and took seven wooden arrows for me.” I start crying hysterically. “He died so I could live another day. He's gone, Andrew. Abel is gone and he isn't coming back,” I stutter out.

  Andrew pulls me to him, and embraces me. Tears flood from my eyes and cover his shirt. He starts rubbing my back as I cry on his shoulder.

  He gently pushes me away and stares deep into my eyes. “Nina, you listen to me. It's not your fault. Abel believed in you. He believed in your powers. He made a choice. He did it because he knew that you're the key to finally changing this world. Do you understand that? You're the key to changing this entire world. You can give so many people another chance to live, another chance to see their families smile, to watch their kids and grandkids grow up. You have the power to do that. Abel not only saved you, but also the millions of people that you will save.”

  I never thought about it that way. I'm the key to changing the world. Me. Abel made the choice to save me because he cared about me and all of the other people who can be saved by my blood.

  Melissa's face pops into my head. I can save more kids like Melissa. I can give them another chance to live, to breathe, to love. I can give their families another chance to see them grow up.

  Tears continue to fall from my face and onto Andrew's shirt. By the time I'm done crying, Andrew's shirt is going to be soaked with my tears.

  “I miss Abel too. I really do, but you have to think positive about this situation. He saved the key element to saving millions of people, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews.” Tears start to fall from Andrew's eyes. “Abel was brave to do what he did. I will honor him until my last day. He saved the love of my life. He did it, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.”

  I look into Andrew's dark and beautiful eyes. I see fear and love. Fear that he almost lost me, and love for Abel.

  * * * *

  I walk into the Madsen residence to find everyone sitting on the couch in front of the fire. I take a deep breath. The scent of burnt wood and smoke fills my nostrils. They must know about my incident yesterday with the ocean. Shit. This is kind of embarrassing.

  Ella stands up and comes to my side instantly. She pulls me in for a gentle and warm hug. It's the kind of hug that makes you just want to burst out with tears. Saying nothing at all, she just hugs me. As she pulls away, I'm greeted with another hug, and then another one. Lilah, Julian, and Alex all find their way to embrace me.

  Tears start streaming down my face. I look at everyone's pale faces, and see sadness in their eyes. Tears are falling down each and every one of their faces. We all are a mess. I'm not in this alone. We all are grieving for the loss of Abel. I wonder how much pain the family is feeling; Abel was in their lives for their whole existence as vampires.

  I look over at Julian, and he is a complete disaster. I've never seen Julian vulnerable before, but he is crying, and sadness is etched on his face. Abel and Julian were not only brothers, they were also best friends. I've never seen Julian go anywhere without Abel. They were always together, and not once did I see them argue about anything. They loved each other more than words could explain. He not only lost his brother, but his best friend.

  I wish I could take the pain away from him. I wish there was a way that I could help them all, but I can't. No matter what I do, or how hard I try to comfort them, it won't bring Abel back. Even after Andrew's pep talk, I still feel responsible for this mess.

  “I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I could have saved him. I wish...” I ramb
le until Julian interrupts me.

  “Why are you saying sorry, Nina? You think this is your fault? It's not. We should all be blaming those fucking Brothers. I wish I could have tortured the hell out of Flavior. He's lucky I didn't have the patience,” Julian growls in pure rage.

  “Nina, it's really not your fault. We all want to be here because we believe in the power of healers,” Ella tells me.

  “I'm sure Andrew told you how special you are. One day you will understand,” Lilah chimes in.

  Tears fall from my face. I can't control it.

  “I remember when Abel knocked me in my nose with the front door,” I laugh through my sobbing. Everyone joins me.

  “I definitely remember that. Ella and I walked into the kitchen to find you and Andrew covered in blood,” Lilah laughs.

  “When Nina walked in on William and I eating,” Andrew smirks. I look at him and give him an evil look. I can't keep it for long because I start laughing almost instantly.

  “Now, thinking back to it, that was hilarious!” Julian laughs.

  The laughing suddenly stops, and I think about Abel again. His sweet smile, and his pale face. I will never forget him.

  “We need to remember the good things about Abel. That's what he would want. He would want us to be laughing and reminiscing about the good times. We need to hold onto those memories of him and never let them go. Abel was a big part of my life, and he always will be. He's my brother, and has been for hundreds of years,” Lilah speaks the words we all need to be thinking.

  “We are going to finish this war that has been started with the Brothers. We will end it, and end them completely. We just have to do it right. We can't instantly retaliate for what they did to Abel. We need to be smart about this, as much as I do hate to say it. I want to go and rip them all apart, but I want this done the right way, for Abel,” Julian says. I've never heard him speak so calmly before. He really wants to do things right by his brother, his best friend.

  Chapter 17

  Meeting Ambrogio and Selene

  Dear Diary,

  Not everyone grieves the same way. Some people don't even show their sadness, whatsoever. Some people cry themselves to sleep at night, some lash out in anger toward the ones they love most, some isolate themselves away from everyone else, some try to feel the pain of the loved one they're grieving for. Sometimes all of the above relates to you.

  Me, I feel the pain one hundred percent! I cry myself to sleep at night sometimes. I lash out at the ones I love, because I don't know how to contain my anger inside. I like to isolate myself away from the world. And, a few days ago, I tried to feel the pain of the one I'm grieving for, Abel.

  I can't change the past, but I can create the future. Some things I'm not going to be able to create because, sometimes, your future has a mind of it's own. You just have to take life day by day and stay strong with whatever gets thrown your way.

  Love, Nina

  * * * *

  I wish I had answers to all of the questions that float through my non-organized brain. I want to know why the hell Flavior came to try to kill me on his own. Why would he dare do that? He should have known that everyone protecting me would rip him to pieces or burn him alive. I guess we'll never know, since the only person that could probably answer that question is Flavior, and he won't be able to do much talking. All that was left of him was ashes, and they're lost in the wind somewhere.

  I decided to stay home last night. I wanted to be alone and collect my thoughts. The past few days have been completely unexpected and drained my energy.

  I take a deep breath when the thought of school pops into my head. Shit. I don't want to go to school, but I don't have much of a choice. I have to attend school. I just have to get it over with. I would much rather stay in my warm, cozy bed for the next decade. I would love to catch up on some sleep!

  I study the mirror while I brush my teeth. Wow, I look like a trainwreck. Literally. My hair is like a bird's nest, knotted and tangled. My makeup from yesterday is smeared all over my pale face. I hope Andrew doesn't show up any time soon. He would probably run away from me and never look back. A smile plays on my face as I think about it.

  I get ready for school and take another look in the mirror. Much better. Now I only look like I got hit by a car. It's better than looking like I got hit by a train.

  I walk downstairs, and my mother is nowhere to be found. She must be working early again. I grab a muffin and step outside. The fresh air hits me in the face; it feels nice. I breathe in deep and exhale loudly. Today is such a beautiful day. The sun is beaming down and shining on the short, green grass.

  I hear a car beep. I look up and see Andrew hitting the lock for the car on his key chain. He looks over at me, and I'm overcome with a smile. I love seeing his beautiful, pale face and his dark, shining eyes. They can turn a horrible day around and change it for the better.

  “Hey, baby,” Andrew smiles. His teeth shine white in the morning light. “Ready for school?” He asks, as he takes a few books out of my hands. Always a gentleman.

  “Completely excited,” I say sarcastically. I love making jokes and seeing Andrew's face light up with a smile.

  * * * *

  Thank God that it's finally lunch time, I'm starving. I walk out from the classroom, and Andrew is waiting for me with a bright smile. It's a smile that makes me believe I'm the reason his day is bright and perfect. I will never get enough of that smile of his. He's mine and always will be. I smile back at him.

  “Give me that,” he says, as he grabs my books out from my hands.

  I kiss him softly on his cheek.

  “Mmm,” he mumbles. “Should we skip lunch?” Andrew winks at me. Wonder where his mind is at?

  I can't help but laugh. “No way, I'm starving,” I joke.

  Shock flashes across his face. He actually thinks I'm serious. I would much rather be laying in bed naked by his side, than sit in these boring classes that seem like they never end.

  I crack a smile and he realizes I'm just kidding around. “Smart ass,” he jokes back.

  “What can I say? I got jokes today,” I laugh. “But, really. I'm starving. Let's go.”

  I walk fast to the lunch room so I can get a good spot in line. I don't feel like waiting in an endless line of people.

  I grab a salad and some fruit. I'm about to pay for my food, but Andrew beat me to it. He's already paid for my food.

  I sit next to him at our usual lunch table. We sit in silence as I eat.

  All of a sudden, William is sitting next to Andrew's side. “Brother, where the hell have you been?”

  “I'm sorry. I've been watching the Sulivic Brothers. I can't stay long. They aren't tracking you both here. I thought I would come and say how sorry I am. I can't believe Flavior killed Abel. I hope you ripped that piece of shit into a million pieces,” William growls.

  “Did they plan that?” Andrew takes the question right out of my mouth.

  “No. Flavior wanted to attack Nina and get this over with. He was growing impatient. He and Lucian got into a huge argument over it. Lucian wanted to wait for the right time to capture Nina, but Flavior didn't agree, so he took off. I should have tracked him, but I thought he was just mad and out of control. I didn't think he would have the nerve to attack on his own. How stupid could he be? He should have known it wouldn't end pretty for him.”

  “How's Caroline?” I interrupt.

  “She misses you and Ali. That's all she talks about. She's doing really good, Nina. Caroline actually likes being who she is,” William tells me.

  “Can you tell her I miss her?” I ask.

  “Of course. We're hoping to see you soon,” William replies.

  “Anything we should know?” Andrew asks.

  “I heard Ambrogio and Selene were making their appearance here,” William says to Andrew.

  “What?” I ask. “Ambrogio and Selene are coming here?”

  “Yes, my love. I forgot to tell you. They will be here tomorrow night.
All of us will be staying at the cabin. They want to sit down and talk with us, and they want to get a chance to meet you. I was hoping you would come stay with us,” Andrew informs me.

  It's last minute, but there's no question if I'll come meet the two oldest vampires in the world. I nod my head and smile with excitement.

  “The Brothers know that Ambrogio and Selene will be near town. Don't worry, because they're backing down for a few days. They're actually really scared of them. I didn't think it was possible for the Brothers to be scared of anything, but they just don't want to die,” William laughs.

  “Well, I'm glad they won't attack while they're here. A part of me wishes they will, so Ambrogio can tear them to pieces for even coming near the love of his life. He's protective of Selene. If there is any danger near her, he will jump by her side instantly,” Andrew explains.

  “Why doesn't Ambrogio go fight the Brothers and get rid of them?” I ask with a hint of confusion.

  Andrew shakes his head. “No way. Ambrogio isn't like that. He doesn't fight unless he absolutely has to.”

  The bell rings and it makes me jump.

  “That's my cue. I will be in touch again soon. Stay safe,” William says as he gets up from the table and walks away.

  “Brother,” Andrew calls out. “What if we need you? How would we get a hold of you?”

  William smiles. “Don't worry, Brother. I will know if you need me.”

  * * * *

  I walk through the door of my house and try to find my mom. It feels like I haven't spent much time with her lately. I want to see her before I leave for a couple of days, and tell her that I'm meeting Ambrogio and Selene. I want to share my excitement with her.

  I check the house, and Ali is no where to be found. She must be working late again. She completely drowns herself in her work. She's always painting. If she's not painting, she's talking about art, or browsing the internet for artwork. I just want to spend some time with my mother. I wish we could cuddle together on the couch and watch a romance movie. I want my mom back. Now that Caroline is gone, I feel like I lost my mom too. People always leave me.